BACK TO PRISON

When I woke up, Ranald made me a wonderful breakfast.
"Time to go now," he said when I finished and sat back in the chair,  "There`s someone I`d like you to meet."
"Who`s that?" I wanted to know.
"A very learned man. A professor of great knowledge. He specializes in all things to do with the kind of experiences you`ve been having. Let`s go to the auto."
I had seen machines of this kind before,but this one was different.It had a a kind of black skirt around it, made of  thick rubber.
We settled down into close-fitting seats. He strapped me in very tightly
"Don`t be alarmed," he said, we shall be travelling at speeds over 300 miles per hour. Best to be safe, but it`s almost impossible to have a collision. Don`t worry."
Now I couldn`t remember much about my time in London,but I was sure that motor cars in those days did not travel at half that speed.
I began to worry that Ranald was not entirely as he seemed and to wonder what I had got myself into this time. When people say "Don`t worry" now,I start worrying straight away



He fired the thing up and it lifted on a carpet of air.  In a few seconds, after he`d twiddled various dials in front of him, he pressed a large red handle and we shot off
Over marsh and mountain we flew and when he came down onto the plain, where you might expect to see roads and towns, there were none.
But our speed never slackened.
I could see Edinburgh Castle and most of the city seemed to be there but the other places had vanished.  Soon we were back up on the hills and before I could catch sight of it, we swept down over a rushing stream and drew up, spinning round, in front of a huge house that had been built to look like a castle.  

We climbed out. A man in a white coat came rushing out to meet us. Behind him in close attendance came two very burly-looking women, also in white coats, who circled round behind me.
"The line was not very clear," said the white-coated man, "What is  this all about?"
"You`ll have your work cut out with this one," said Ranald, "Reckons he fought against General Agricola at Ynis Mon.  Which would make him nearly three thousand years old. He says he was imprisoned in the castle on Loch Fyne, bit that`s been uninhabited for five hundred years at least."
"I see," said the other and nodded tot eh two women, who clasped my arms behind my back.  The white-coated man came up behind me.
I felt a sharp sting in my bottom and almost immediately fell asleep.

                                            Through a storm 

As I trudged wearily away from my castle prison through the pouring rain, I reflected on the strange workings of fate.
Here I was, cold and wet, and there they were, my imprisoners, running off to fight a battle they would certainly lose.
Of course, if I didn`t find some food and shelter soon, I was not going to be going any further myself. After two weeks in a cold, wet dungeon with hardly any food the chances of reaching safety before I was turned into wolf or bear breakfast.
I was trying as hard as I could to remember the key to moving on. It didn`t matter where as far as I was concerned.
What I wanted to do was run.This would keep me warm and bring me nearer to somewhere.  In that part of the world, there can be more than a day`s travel between Somewheres.

As fate decided, I stopped to get a stone out of my shoe when I saw someone striding towards me.
 "Good Heavens, dear boy! What on Earth are you doing?"
He was dressed in a bright red mantle,with a hood and black leggings.  It was quite hard to understand his accent, but his eyes widened as I gave my explanation.
 "Look," he said, "This is all very fascinating. I could listen all day. Thing is, it`s definitely breakfast time and you look done in. I`ve taken a little croft just over there. Would you like to join me?"
I joined him to the extent of demolishing a huge breakfast of porridge and kippers, toast and marmalade until I nearly burst.  


This was a modern house. I must have slipshifted without realizing it while I was trying to wok out my codes, going through all the possibilities.  There was heating of some kind,soft armchairs, a hot bath and a spare bed.   Ranald was a writer, working on a very different area of Scottish history. Luckily, he knew about Druids and was not in the least shocked by what I was saying. It did not cross his mind to have me Sectioned as a dangerous lunatic.


  When I finally woke up it was dark. The rain was still lashing down against the windows.
  A pot of venison stew was bubbling on the stove. A bottle of French wine was taking the air close by.
  As we finished off the wine, we continued our discussions.
  "Listen," he said, "Is there any way that you could take me with you? On your travels." 
I had no idea what to say.  At the back of my I had a vague memory of being warned not to reveal my codes and he saw  the doubts on my face. Two thousand years before. 
  "This is difficult for you," Ranald said, "I see that. I don`t want to put undue pressure on you. Not at all. Why not sleep on it?  See if anything turns up. If it doesn`t, it doesn`t. Is that fair?"
  So I lay down and slept deeply.
 

 

prison diary 2

So there I was,all innocent you might say and willing to help out with the spying. "This,"  I thought to myself, "is where I set myself up. Where I make myself popular."  So I happily squeezed into  the space between the outer wall and the secret wall. ThenI settled down to wait.

The guests came in. As far as I could tell, there were two lots.  One from the islands and one from down Glen Elg, where they had rights to the ferry.  Our man was very cheery with them both, pouring the best claret and the best whisky as if they were water. They wer talkingof a geat battle at which they planned to finish off the English threat. It was all going like  a song  until the laird`s son came running in.

He was soaking wet and covered in mud. "Quick!" he cried, "Mairie`s run away with the son of Strathnever."   At that the laird made his excuses and left. "Enjoy yourselves,"he told his guests. I know where they`ve gone. I`ll be back within the hour. There`s food a-plenty, so do not stint yourselves."

With that he was away with much banging of doors. It had all been arranged because he suspected  these two of treachery of his two guests and he wanted to give them the chance to air their thoughts.  They  sat downand began to make a thorough job of deciding how they were to turn on the laird and kill his whole family. You may be sure I noted all this most carefully and started looking forward to my reward.

When the laird came back, he immediately ran to my hiding place and dragged me out.  Surrounded by his men. He made me tell my tale, then started blaming me for spying, saying I was working for the English, or the Cambells at any rate, and that he would deal with me later. Once again, I was escorted to the dungeon. 

This time I was not so foolish. I had found a pistol lying in the secret passage and stuck it in my waistband. So I was able to fell my jailer with a single blow to the back of the head. I gagged him with his shirt and locked him in.  

There was a terrific row going on the Hall and was able to creep out of the castle. I found the horses, mounted one and drove the others in front of me. My time learning to drive a chariot was not wasted.

And that was how I escaped. I missed eseing Bonnie Prince Charlie,but you can have too muchvfun in one day. As soon as Iwas sure I ad got clear, I peformed the ritual for moving and came back down..... well, you`ll have to wait and see now.  I  have learned to read and write and I know a bit about the Romans. But there are many parts of Diarmid`story I know nthing about . And there are things I have to learn about the modern age.  It is important that I doscover how things are for you.

May the wind be always at your back.

celts v romans: conor`s blog

Sorry. I fell asleep.  I forget now how ling I was in that dungeon. You see I`d gone up to visit the Picts, in Scotland.
I wanted to learn about how they helped teh Brigants in their long fight with the Romans. The were rebellions all the time they were here. The Romans, that is.
Well, you know how it is with this Slipshifting.  I ended up miles out of my way. And in the wrong time.  The Scots were about to rebel and try to put Bonnie Prince Charlie on the throne of England.

At teh time, there were a lot of English spies about. And scottish spies working for the English. And French spies working for the Scots and the English and everyonebwas getting all het up about it. 
At the time, I had been workingon my Scots Gaelic,which was quite good. The only trouble was I had the wrong accent.

So natrually,I was hit on the head. They put me on a cart and dragged me off to a loch in the North-West of the country, in an area called Assynt.  Now Assynt is very wild and windy and cold, and it`s full of bears and wolves. It is also full of castles and to avod the bears and wolves, they build them on islands in the middle of lochs. 

What with all the excitement going on everywhere, people coming and going bday and night, discussion going on with these people and nobody quite sure who to trust, I ws forgotten for a couple of weeks. 
I lay in a dungeon with only rats for company sothat when they did finallpullme out, I was in a bad way. Or rather, avery bad way.  They could see there wanot much left of me, so whenI told them my story,they were very sorry for what had happened.

At that time, people were more likely to believe in ghosts and all that kind of thing, so it was easy for them to accept that I wasn`t lying.  They were holding me out of an upper window by my ankles, which made it more likely that I was telling the truth.  

After that they couldn`t do enough for me.  I was fed and given whisky, which was very pleasant and I had a bed to sleep in.  It turned out that they wanted someone to do a bit of spying, on their best friends and closest neighbours.  For this purpose,they had built a spare wall,just far enough from the outer wall for a body to slip along.  This passage ran along the Great Hall, just under the roof and anyone who was in it could hear what was being said at dinner, about twelve feet below. 

Look, I`m feeling very tired again I htnik ll`I sujt go to plees agina........................

                                                         PRISON

Hello. Greetings. (Both of you)  I`ve been in prison. It was all very unfortunate, the way things tend to be when I`m around.  Also, it`s a long story. But I have time on my hands now.

It was like when the Romans came. How was I to know they were going to kill all the Druids? I was only young.  A mere boy. So I was condemned to wander through space and time, trying to explain about the Celts and what the Romans did to them and why they did it. A lot of this has to do with the hero Diarmid, who became famous and the subject of many songs and tales. Only the thing is,you find yourself in strange places and the odds are stacked against you, you just have to do the best you can.

The trouble is, I haven`t got the hang of this Slipshifting at all. They gave me passwords and phrases to say when I wanted to move on. If I`m very frightened or in a great hurry, I can`t remember them. As you may have noticed when I went to school, you can end up in the wrong by place quite by accident and even if you haven`t done anything wrong.

That`s what happened this time.  I got caught in a narrow valley, up in Scotland. That`s what they call it now, and the nearest island you`ll know is The Isle of Skye. The hills are very steep there, and slippery in Winter.  I forget what clan the people were. I just landed there, straight out of Rome and wearing Roman clothes.  

That must be why they took against me. I was just looking round, trying to get my bearings. It was very cold and I badly needed to get under cover before I froze. About six of them came running up towards me, waving swords. I had no idea what they were shouting but take it from me, it wasn`t "Happy Birthday! Come and have a wee dram!"  When peole wave swords at my advice is: get out quick. I turned and ran, straight up the hillside and down the other side. They didn`t give up. They don` give up easily, you know, Picts. A very tough lot. At least I knew that much.

So I wasn`t that surprised at the top when I saw them still coming after me. They were closing in. The next mountain was a proper mountain. It was tall and th e top was a spike of rock. Off I went. When I reached the top, allI could see was a line of three more peaks sticking bleakly out of the snow. The sides were all steep. I was tired. My legs  were going wobbly and I felt I could not go on any further. But still they were coming after me. What could I do? One option was just to throw myself down the side. "If I die, at least I`ll get some sleep," I thought. All teh same, I did not really like the idea of getting battered to death on the rocks. Or waking up with no legs.

Then I had an idea.  I quickly looked around the peak.The slope at the back, facing North looked easiest. So I sat down. Bracing myself with my legs, I slid. Only my legs were not strong enough. Before I knew it, I was travelling at great speed. The men behind started whistling furious tumes on their whistles. I couldn`t care less. I had escaped them. Faster and faster I went, until I started to roll over. I hit my head.  When I woke up I was in a bed, warm and dry, but with  a fearsome bunch of red-bearded warriors gazing down at me, all looking very grim.

Soon afterwards, my situation became pretty grim too.  

Funny old world

Greetings!
You never know what`s going to happen next. I was never so glad to get away from anywhere as I was from Rome. It all went bad when I finally found the street where Hern was when he saved Julia Domnina`s life. If you remember from Celts v Romans that ended with Hern trapping Diarmid into a plot against the General. He was training Diarmid to be a Roman citizen. That part of the city held a lot of people with not much money and various ideas for laying thier hands on what other people had.

As this involved hitting them on the head, grabbing them from behind and cutting their throats or sticking a dagger in just far enough to loosen the srtrings of their purses, or much, much worse. So I was creeping along, looking around nervoulsy. Someone told me later this was my mistake. Dik the Miller said: "Be confident, but not too confident. Move steady, but not too fast or slow." Easier said than done. And he was talking about London, which was not so dangerous then, in the time of Richard the Third. Don`t ask. It`s a long story. Maybe later, if I remember.

Somehow, which I can`t explain, I suddenly knew someone was making a move on me. Not a nice feeling in a town where you haven`t even found a bed to sleep on. So I took off. Someone tripped me. I scraped skin off my knees and hands. I scrabbled up in panic and ran on. I saw the river, l leapt onto the parapet and dived.

Luckily, I hit the water. Later, I saw someone do this and land headfirst in the mud. His legs kicked wildly for a bit, but he could work his head free and they twitched horribly and went still. Rome was scary enough from the start. I was even more nervous after these two experiences. Twice more I was chased over the next few weeks. I got myself sold as a slave, like Diarmid and Hern and I learned a lot from that. It brought me a kind of safety, a place to sleep, and food. I had to put up with being whipped a lot more than I wanted, but my owner wasn`t as bad as some I heard of. In a few months, I felt I knew enough about Rome and the Romans.

Some of them were all right. Kind and clever. But when they were horrible, you wouldn`t want to see how horrible they were. I had to take Mistress to the Circus Maximus. She always wanted to see the Gladiator she was supporting, every time he fought, until he was killed. It was awful. He was stabbed in the side with a trident and fell to his knees. I cried. That great strong man. I heard him stifel a groan. The look in his eyes still haunts me, like the nightmares of running down the street that went on and on. I still get them occasionally. It wasn`t much fun watching the wild animals fighting either. They screamed.

I tell you, I became desperate to get away. When the slipshift came in, I was so glad. Falling asleep in Rome, I woke up on a hillside, by a stream, in the North Country. Just below was a little settlement hidden among a forest of oak trees. When I went down they greeted me in a friendly way, and they spoke Gaelic. Soon food was set out and we talked about their battles with the Romans.

"Nothing has happened for many years," said Daoulas, their leader, "my people came here from Gaul, at the time of Caesar, and now if we leave them alone, they leave us alone."

While this sounded good, I could see others in the group were turning away their heads. It seemed to me they did not agree. I thought it would be a bad idea to ask what they were thinking too soon. For the next few days I just enjoyed the games, the dancing, the songs and the hunting. Bad idea to go poking a stick into a hornets` nest unless you really have to. I tried to amuse them with stories about Rome or my slipshift travels. Quite quickly I became popular with all sorts of people, including children bringing me their questions. On the surface, everyone looked happy and carefree. I was thoroughly enjoying myself, and the nightmares left me.

But all the time I was making myself ready for the time when talk of conflict with the Romans would begin again, as I was sure it must. From what I had learned about them, the Romans very rarely gave up on controlling the countries where theyhad taken over. Only the Saxona, in Germania, had driven them back. Only the Gaels, across the sea, had been left alone along with the Picts, in their Northern fastness. Very soon, the sound of tramping Roman feet would be heard in the distance. Then there would have to be talks about what to do.

I will report again soon. I tell you, I was so shaken by my last visit to Rome, it took a long time before I could even think about it again.

May the wind be always at your back

Conor

Conor in Rome

So, where were we? To be quite plain about it, I don`t like life in this age of yours. Everything is so noisy and such a rush.

All right. Calm down. Deep breaths. I went on a slipshift to Rome. So much of what was important in Diarmid`s story happened there and we don`t know much about it these days. When I was stuck next to this bloke in a van on the M25 for about an hour, we got talking. I asked him what he knew about Rome.
"Madness!" he cried, and started talking about the traffic.
"Sorry," I said, "I mean the Romans. Ancient Rome."

All he knew seemed to be about Sophia Loren and Kirk Douglas. From the way he described it, I think they were in films. I must say, I like films. Sometimes. Not much of what the van-driver said was completely wrong, or quite right. I`d better just tell you what happened to me.

Like Diarmid and the traitor Hern, I had to spend time as a slave, but I was sold before I`d even stepped off the boat. Just until I`d learned the language. Also like Diarmid, I was lucky to be bought by a decent master. Not too many whippings, more than enough food.

Once I could speak Latin, it was arranged that I would seem to have died. I even went to my own funeral, which was horrible because even the Master was very upset. Still, there was no other way. I had to find the General who housed Diarmid and Strabo, the old Greek tutor who helped him escape. The General had retired to his country villa and I couldn`t find Strabo because it turned out he had been freed and had gone back to Greece.

For a month I wandered the streets, soaking up the atrmosphere but keeping out of sight. Rome was a very frightening place in those days. It was crowded and smelly and full of people who were ready to fight, sometimes for no reason at all. Theymight not have had guns, but when you`ve seen what swords and slavery can do, you won`t think guns are all that much to worry about. Even the buildings seemed to offer a challenge, or a threat.

In the Senate, I heard the Roman leaders talk about tribes like ours as though they were cattle to be bought and sold. They were complaing about the Picts and the Saxons. I also visited the stinking prison where Diarmid had been kept on arrival. I found a space near the back of the Circus Maximus and watched gladiators fighting to the death. I followed one of the winners back down below and nearly walked into a lion`s cage. The fighting and bloodshed were bad enough but the lion really finished me off. I ran out of the back door into an old gladiator, who tried to pick a fight with me. He was both drunk and angry and I had to slipshift to get away.

The Druids don`t mind sending me where it`s dangerous, but they do protect me when it gets too much. Now it turned out I was in for a holiday. I arrived on a little island just off the coast of Greece. Strabo was waiting for me but he would not say how he knew. There could be nobody better to tell me everything there is to know about Diarmid and Derdru, the adventures they had and their shy love. Believe me, they know what is important in life, those Greeks.

But all good things come to an end. As autumn leaves began to fall, I came home, in the world I knew so well. Finding myself in the middle of the treachery of Coel and the Trinovans was most uncomfortable sort of homecoming. .